I spent a lot of timing believing that I was born a certain type of person and would (in some aspects) retain those aspects of myself forever. What I’ve come to learn is while that is NOT true, there are certain actions that need to be taken to start to shift aspects of myself that I don’t feel represent me or serve me anymore.

Three steps that I’ve begun begun to take are:

1. Not beating myself up over patterns of behavior that I want to shift away from. I’ve started to accept the parts of myself that I used to previously judge for being too mean, being too crazy, being irrational, etc.. I now do my best to see myself for where I currently am - at the same time recognizing where I want to be.

2. Observing myself. A huge step is realizing and admitting there are shifts in behaviors / ways of being you want to have. Start to watch yourself acting out the behaviors / ways of being from a place of objectivity. Get clear on what are these behaviors. What brings out these behaviors? Why do you resort to that? (This can be a tough one, be gentle with yourself as you start to practice this act of observation.)

3. Take some space and time for yourself! Go do something that fills your cup and brings some nourishment back to your soul. Or, my personal favorite, go feel your feelings - that can look like crying, journaling, or feeling deeply into your body.

This type of inner, expansive work will not happen overnight. But as we start to become more aware of how we walk in the world, we start to create new neural pathways and slowly influence our behavior. Shifting starts with the smallest of ripples before you feel the waves.

All in all, please be easy on yourselves. The patterns we have are so deeply ingrained into us - for me, it’s a newer version of me completing with almost 30 years of programmed, strong neural pathways and ways of being.

Who said change was easy or would happen overnight? True, lasting change is a journey - one that we are always all the better for.